My “big” problem now is mouth weakness. I
was warned at the outset that because of the location of my tumor, (toward the
back of my right cheek, about even with the bottom of my earlobe) there was a
small chance that a nerve would be severed, a motor nerve that controls the
side of the mouth, which would leave me with a droop at the corner. Fortunately,
this didn’t happen for the right neck surgery, but since the left neck
surgery, there’s a motor deficit at the left corner of my mouth. It’s
not really a droop, and I haven’t asked a doctor what’s exactly
wrong, but it involves the muscle that pulls my lower lip down away from the
teeth, leaving me with a lopsided grin – sort of an anti-droop. It
also puts that part of my lip near the path of my upper and lower teeth during
chewing, resulting in several good chomps to that that area. This causes
Leslye no end of amusement, so I kick her shins under the table to keep things even.
It was alarming at first to have the fatigue around my lips and the anti-droop
because it causes me to stumble over words if I talk a long time. These
nerves may or may not grow back or they may grow back incorrectly. So far,
the people I mention this to have been kind enough to refrain from commenting on
what a blessing this will be for them, but I read out loud to Leslye most
nights for exercise, so I should be up to prattling speed shortly.
The neck surgeries also cut out some feeling in my neck and face.
Nerves were cut that provide a good deal of sensation to the right
side of my face and ear, under the right side of my chin and neck, and upper right
shoulder; the numbness on the left side is limited to mostly under my
chin. I’ve gotten used to it, but for the longest time it felt like
my shirt was unbuttoned and coming off my right arm. I’ve
also got a sore jaw. I never expected this, but thinking about it, it
makes sense: the surgeon cut through and around several neck muscles and I’m
sure there’s an imbalance that’s going to cause problems for the
untouched muscles that are used to having everyone pitch in for chewing duty.
From what I understand, the nerves will eventually grow back.
Depending on where and what was severed, this can take anywhere from 6 weeks to
two years. For me, having the nerves grow back is the most irritating
part. After the initial pain of having the incision made, the nerves in
that area that haven’t been damaged are actively reporting a surgical
incision; this fades after a week or two. After that, the nerves that have
been cut or damaged have regenerated enough to start sending signals to my
brain. The signals are not necessarily correct, but they’re
constant. The formerly numb parts of my skin become sensitive to touch, making
it uncomfortable to have anything (like clothing) brush against it. This
is quite often accompanied by random pricks, pinches, tingling and itches (that
can’t be scratched!) that occur over the numb areas. There have
been several times where I’m sitting quietly in front of the computer or TV
when suddenly I’ll exclaim “Ouch!” for no apparent reason.
There is a reason of course: somewhere, two nerves are growing closer
and closer together when suddenly – snap! – a spark jumps between
them right before they connect. This is when I get pinched by a
regenerating nerve (or so I like to imagine). Pain killers don’t
touch it, but for me, it’s more of a constant nuisance rather than
debilitating condition.
Which brings me to the last complaint: fatigue. From
simply a physiological standpoint, surgery is stressful to your body and it takes
a lot out your body’s energy to recuperate. It usually takes
between four and six weeks to get back on your feet fully after a major
surgery. Additionally, there’s the drain of getting used to all
these new sensations, the drain of frustration from not being able to move the
way you used to, the drain of low-level but constant discomfort and the
drain of stressing over everything mentioned above. This last is
also called “sick and tired of being sick and tired.”
Though I’m much better about it than before, being
SATOBSAT is by far the worst part of this. I’m not much for sitting
of front of the TV and would much rather be actively recreating then passively
vegetating. When forced to take it easy, I start getting irritated (and irritating)
about all the fun things I’d rather do but am too worn out for; I’ve
lost half my weekends to afternoon naps for the past month. Exasperating?
Yes. Necessary? Yes. Fortunately I’ve learned that the only
way through this is to give in and sleep through it and observe that so far,
the world seems to be staggering along just fine without me.
2/24/11 Update:
At my regularly scheduled dentist appointment, the dentist said that he didn't think that any nerves to my mouth were actually cut, just stretched. This could account for the fact that even though my right neck surgery was more extensive than the left, it was the left side of my mouth that sustained damage. He said that the affected nerves would probably repair themselves, though it could take up to two years.
I'll let you know what happens in a couple of years.
2/24/11 Update:
At my regularly scheduled dentist appointment, the dentist said that he didn't think that any nerves to my mouth were actually cut, just stretched. This could account for the fact that even though my right neck surgery was more extensive than the left, it was the left side of my mouth that sustained damage. He said that the affected nerves would probably repair themselves, though it could take up to two years.
I'll let you know what happens in a couple of years.
Hi Paul.
ReplyDeleteThanks for expressing via words what I've been going through for the past four months. I found I had MCC at the end of October, and since then, my world has been turned upside down. I too have had two surgeries and just finished five weeks of radiation treatments. My tumor site was on my left temple, and I can completely relate to your symptoms.
My first surgery opened me up from my forehead to the top of my neck. Thats when they found MCC in my sentinel lymph node. Two weeks later I had a modified neck resection to check nodes in my secondary drain field, which all came back clear of MCC. One month later I married overlooking the ocean in Maui, then came home and immediately started radiation. Today, I'm one week out of radiation and starting to recover.
I've experienced all the wonderful little symptoms you have so aptly described. The first surgery left me without feeling on the side of my face, but you are so right, the numbness doesn't seem to stop the zingers you get when you are the most relaxed. I've had the same soreness in my chin and weakness in my lower lip that has caused the same issues. Just try to eat an apple without biting through your lip. Lately, with the help of my wife, I've been getting much better with my lip controls. She has been great thoughout all of this. My left shoulder and neck have faired the worst. This area is also numb, and the muscles are stretched as tight as wringed out wash cloth. That still bothers me, especially in my back swing :).
I completely understand SATOBSAT. I'm a very active person and never have been much of a couch potatoe or tv watcher. Compounding all this is that I've never been sick a day in my life, so I really don't know how to do it. Its been really hard to sit still and allow your body the time to heal. It is irrating, and it left me quite grumpy at times. My loving wife can fully attest to that.
But, one week after all this, Im starting to perk up and feel stronger, emotionally and phsycially. Its a bit scary to look back at where you were at, and understand just how much trama your body has gone through in such a short period of time. I wish I would have given myself more of break back then, and been kinder to myself during the times I fought SATOBSAT.
Paul, I admire your attitute, and I fully appreciate your candor within your blog. Nice to know that there are others out there that can relate to all this. Wishing you all the best, and remember, life does go on, so make everyday as remarkable as possible.
Scott