Here's what you're in for...


This is a chronicle of my experiences, observations, and feelings as I experience treatment for Merkel Cell Carcinoma (MCC). The goal is to give anyone going through chemotherapy and radiation for MCC (or any other cancer for that matter) an idea of what to expect. Of course I'm a unique individual just like everyone else, so what happens to me may or may not happen to you. Your mileage may vary.

I'm a pretty reserved guy, so most of these posts will be straightforward, just-the-facts-ma'am entries. I may occasionally get maudlin, but cut me some slack -- I could die from this.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Update on Paul through a wife's eyes

I have never felt so helpless.
The beginning of last week (Paul's 2nd week of chemo & radiation) he started to lose his voice and soon after his throat became horribly sore due to the daily bilateral neck radiation. His throat pain makes it very difficult to eat which breaks my heart.
Paul enjoys the flavors and textures of foods; he loves to taste and identify all the different flavors in his meals. It is like a challenge to him. His increasingly sore throat and tender mouth make it excruciatingly painful to eat. He is forced to eat very slowly and have foods at neutral temperatures. No more piping hot or spicy foods, his preferences.
These joys have been taken from him.
After sitting down with 3 cookbooks for cancer patients at Books A Million, I choose and recommend "Eating Well Through Cancer" by Holly Clegg & Gerald Miletello,MD. I quickly found out Paul doesn't care for the thickness/texture of smoothies. (I'll look for other recipes on the net)
I feel helpless because I feel like I can't cook meals/snacks he can easily eat and get energy from; I can't make his throat and mouth feel better (of course he is doing everything the drs. tell him to), I can't give him energy so he can stay awake and live his life.

Okay! Off pity pot!
I love Paul more than ever and we are in this fight together. I love the Lord and know that He is in this fight as well, healing Paul. I am doing everything I can to take care of my husband and I spend all the time I can with him, even when he is napping. I now have a list of support groups and will join one next time they meet in April. I need to listen to and believe Paul when he tells me I am doing a great job.
I just wish I could cure him...but I am not God.
Thank you for all you thoughts and prayers,
Leslye

2 comments:

  1. We have you all in our thoughts and prayers. Thank you for the great blog. If I can help with anything- let me know. Jackie

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  2. you can do this!!!! about the nutrition issues: talk to a dietician or a nutritionist: i bet they can come up with stuff.
    we have all been thinking, praying and supporting you both in the venture of life. you are awesome! mandy

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